More Thoughts on Love & Logic: Principle #1

This is the second post in a series about the book Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years For other posts in this series, click here.

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A few months ago I wrote a post summarizing the concept of parenting with "Love & Logic". I really agree with the principles presented, and hope to use them with Abby. She's reached the toddler-tantrum stage, and while I can't apply some of the Love & Logic ideas until she can really communicate with me, there have definitely been times already when I choose to approach things differently than other parenting styles...

Principle #1 of Love and Logic is to build their self-concept. It's so easy to see a 14-month-old try to do simple tasks and want to take over and do it for them, or "show them how it's done." For example, Abby has one of those ring-stacker toys. I know she has watched me a number of times over the last few months put the stars on (making it light up), but she didn't show much interest in trying to do it herself until just recently. Now she's taken a star, tried and tried and tried to get it on the post, turning it every which way except the right way. It was all I could do to sit on my hands and let her figure it out on her own! And she did. And I praised her. She grinned and grabbed the next star and worked on it.

Another example: We have a big (pink!) satellite-type chair in the living room. Abby doesn't quite have the height or leg strength to push herself up into it, but she does know how to get down. It takes her a few minutes to maneuver her legs into place and slide out. I watch her like a hawk, ready to ease her landing if she takes a tumble, but I try to not do it for her. The same thing with going up and down stairs.

Allowing kids to struggle and solve their own problems builds their self-concept. It's the idea that forms in their head of "hey, I've got what it takes! I can do this!" And it sets the stage for them to think on their own in other events later in life, when mommy isn't watching.