The last few days have been tough on my emotions. I've been pretty down lately. I have no motivation to do anything. And it's not because I'm bored -- I have PLENTY to do around here... I've forced myself to keep up with laundry, and the dishes are mostly done... Then I thought hey, I enjoy scrapbooking, and that's a nice quiet activity and sounds moderately fun... 2 hours and ONE page later I give up on that too. Yesterday the rain made me want to just sleep all day... so I tried, off and on throughout the day. Plus I hadn't slept well the night before. Well I didn't sleep much at all during the day yesterday, and I think that only saddened me more. I've heard of post-partum depression, but is there such a thing as PRE-partum?
Luckily Rocky was able to get me out of the house for a bit last night while he helped with Youth Sunday practice at church. Then we had Debbie and Tim over for ice cream and some laughter... So I went to bed last night feeling a bit better. Still slept pretty crummy, my belly is so big it stretches my skin/muscles/ligaments painfully and it's difficult to roll over... which I end up needing to do every hour or so.
But today is a new day, right?? I'm still feeling pretty tired so I'll probably try and take a nap this afternoon... but I'm praying I'll be motivated to do a few other things in the meantime. Just so I can feel proud to have accomplished SOMETHING today... Please pray for me?
My dear, dear friend,
These "prepartum" symptoms you are describing are not at all unusual. When I worked in Chicago with pregnant women and mothers of infants, many of them had the same feelings very close to going into labor. I believe there are some theories out there about this. One of them is that shortly before going into labor your body starts getting ready for the labor, and that may include some of the hormones associated with pregnancy either slow down or stop excretion and/or production. Within this theory there is the thought that it may have more to do with the baby's body and changes there. The idea is that the baby is getting ready to come out and so is preparing herself, which then influences your body and your hormones in response to her changes.
The other theory I've heard of is more founded on the emotions that are running high as you close in on your due date. Obviously, some of this is probably due to hormonal/chemical changes within your body and brain, but the base of this theory is found more in the "pure" mental status of your thoughts and emotions (which, I'd just like to point out, is still somewhat influenced by your hormonal and chemical balance within your brain as well). I'm of the mindset that it is probably a mixture of these things. Not all women go through it though, so the research on it is not as complete as on postpartum.
Know that we love you, know that you'll be fine, and know that just because you don't get everything done that you want to get done it doesn't mean you're failing (remember our previous thoughts on fear of failure). When you're not feeling motivated it is usually a sign that your body and your mind need a rest, especially for someone like you who is typically so disciplined in getting things done. This isn't a bad thing, your mind and body are just telling you that you need a break. Stop getting the house ready for the baby, and work on getting yourself ready, which includes physical and mental rest. Take some time to meditate, breath slowly and deliberately (I think this will also help when it comes to the actual labor, so good practice). Clear your mind, and then seek out God and His will for you (which may include just waiting and resting without any doing). If you have trouble clearing your mind or sitting still, put an object in each hand that you can squeeze rhythmically.
I love you and I'll see you tonight at church (unless you go into labor... then I'll see you in the hospital).
I love you carrie! I am praying that god continues to protect you and calm you. I can't imagine all the feelings and emotions you are dealing with, and i cant give any advice, but i can pray! and you can know thats what i am doing.
Praying for peace and strength and REST for you in the finishing days.
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