Dreams

Have you ever had a recurring dream? One that seems to play in your head every night? I've been having this dream almost every single night since Abby was born (and I'm sure the nights I didn't think I dreamt it were nights I'd taken Nyquil and just don't remember it...). It's changed slightly from the beginning. Originally, my dream was that Abby was in bed with us and I was afraid I would roll on top of her, or the covers would get over her head, and I'd have to quietly put my hand on her to make sure she was still breathing. By this point in the dream I would be half awake, so I'd actually put my hand out and feel the bed, trying to find her. Sometimes I would feel Rocky's back and first think "whew, she's warm and still breathing", then suddenly realize I was dreaming.

The last few months the dream has changed to a fear of Abby falling out of our bed. I'll find myself half-awake again, jumping to the edge of the bed to "catch" her, or feeling around on the floor to see where she landed, and finding a cold lump of clothes and freaking out that she'd stopped breathing.

We've never co-slept with Abby -- from Day 1 she was in her crib in her room across the hall. I don't look down on people who do, it just wasn't for us. Yet I continue to have these dreams! Poor Rocky, I don't know how many times I've woken him up with my "searching". I don't know what, if anything, I can do about it...