the book by Gary Chapman. There are 5 languages mentioned: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, and gifts. The idea is that each of us has certain things that show us love, and if we can do/say the right things for each other, our "love tank" will be full.
They say you can tell what your language is based on what you naturally want to do for others. While I don't think I can rank them 1-5 for myself, I do know that touch and time are at the bottom and service and gifts are at the top. I really enjoy serving other people -- while I might never want to do dishes in my own house, I'll surprise my best friend by doing hers while she's away. I find myself always asking Rocky "can I get you anything? something to drink?" etc. And when he does the dishes for me... oh I feel so loved!
I've come to acknowledge that my other top language is gifts. I know exactly when the mailperson is supposed to come, and I check the box before noon every day. I have a box downstairs of all the letters and cards and random things Rocky gave me while we were dating. I even saved the petals from my first bouquet of flowers from him. We're doing a Secret Santa exchange at school right now, and I have the name of a 5th grader and another student has me. I'm having so much fun! I love to leave little notes for people to find, or to stick in lunchbags.
And of course there is Christmas shopping. This is where things are a bit troublesome for me. Because I love to give gifts, I spend so much time pouring over what to get each person and I have to really limit myself. This year I'm following the concept of "something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read" when I'm getting gifts for Rocky and Abby.
Unfortunately I have to put from my mind any sort of expectations when it comes to receiving gifts from others. Rocky has told me that gifts is at the bottom of his love language list (and of course time and touch are at the top... remember what I said my lowest were??). So I struggle with wanting him to be as excited and joyful as I am about getting gifts for others (and not just for me).
How would you sort the list of love languages for yourself?