I want dinner cooked my way, since I think I know best... but you never asked for my help.
I want things organized a certain way... but it's not my house.
I want my baby cared for a certain way... but does that mean I don't trust you?
I want my baby to behave a certain way... but she's too young to know any better.
I want you to have confidence in yourself... but I can't force your feelings to change.
I want my house to be clean again.
I want my pre-pregnancy body back; I was finally learning to be content with myself.
I at least want some shorts that fit. Or skirts. Or a swimsuit. Something.
Hey, those last items are things that I can actually fix! But have I taken steps to make them happen? Not really...
Hello, my name is Carrie, and I'm one messed up control freak.
1 comment:
I understand the control freak thing, I'm the same way with so many things. When we talked about problems circling around in the healing the heart of the church discussion group, I thought to myself, "that's not just a church issue, that's an everyone issue". Lately my personal control freak issues have been popping up all over the place, so I figure God's been sending me a message, one I need to learn and live. The lesson He keeps sending at me, and it hit pretty hard while planning for the mission trip, is that no matter how much I want to control things, I will never have true control over anything and that's even better because the one who does is perfect where I am not! God wants us to lose control! You know I love Tenth Avenue North, and I know how much music means to you, so let me share with you a song that I've listened to a lot lately. It's more about the soul than about controlling situations, but the questions are what gets me. What will I lose if I lose control over situations? I used to be a freak about being early for everything. Since being married to Tim I've discovered that I don't lose a whole lot by being late, in fact life is a less stressful now because I don't worry all the time about being on time for things that it doesn't matter. What do I lose if my house is dirtier than I like? Not much. What do I gain? A little more time to spend with Tim rather than cleaning. I've found, and will likely keep finding, that the more I let go of the things I feel the desperate need to be in control of, the less stressed I am, the more joy I feel, and I get closer to God and the people I love. God's got a plan for you, and the small details like how a dinner is made, how things are put away, won't affect that plan. Trust that God has a plan for Rocky and Abby as well, he will lead them where they need to be same as he will lead you, all you need to do is ask with a faithful and patient heart. God will guide you when he needs you to be a part of that plan. Let go of your worry, let go of your plans, let go of you needs, let go of your wants. God's got it!
I've been holding on so tight
Look at these knuckles
They've gone white
I'm fighting for who I wanna be
I'm just trying to find security
But You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say you will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go.
Well it's hard enough to hear
Harder still, to move beyond this fear
We know there's nothing I can bring,
So tell me what do you want from me?
But You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say You will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go, You say let it go
What do I love?
What do I hate?
What will I lose?
What will I gain?
How do I save my soul?
What if I bend?
What if I break?
What will it cost?
What will it take?
For you to save my soul.
You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say You will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say you will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go, You say let it go
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