Sunday, October 19, 2008


rest·less: [rest-lis] –adjective 1. characterized by or showing inability to remain at rest: a restless mood. 2. unquiet or uneasy, as a person, the mind, or the heart. Synonyms: antsy, anxious, fidgety, on edge, unsettled.

I still feel kind of stuck in a rut, but not down as far as before. Now it's more of a "here-I-am-now-what-do-I-do-let-me-out-of-here" type of feeling. Life is going well, don't get me wrong, I just feel like there's more to what I'm supposed to do with it. Not that I have the time to pursue anything more. Work, council, praise band, GEMS, small groups keep me busy every week -- plus being a wife and a friend. I can't imagine what life would be like if we had kids.

It's almost like I'm feeling a pull toward something bigger. But I don't know what that is. A mission trip with FCS? Pursuing GEMS in Zambia? Visiting our friends who are teaching MK's in Africa? Or not that big? Something more local? Going deeper with the ministries closer to home?

I'm not content. I live a good life, but do the same motions every day. It feels so dry lately. All my life I've had major events to look forward to each year -- school starting, high school graduation, college, summer project, college graduation, our wedding... now what? Some people would tell me "kids", but I don't feel ready for that yet. Well, some days I do. But that's a topic for a whole nother post...

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'" -Isaiah 30:21.

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