Tuesday, February 27, 2007

You Never Let Go

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back, I know You are near

And I will fear no evil, for my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear? Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go, through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go, in every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go, Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles, but until that day comes
We’ll live to know You’re here on the earth

And I will fear no evil, for my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear? Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go, through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go, in every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go, Lord, You never let go of me

Yes I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles, but until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

This is a song that has continued to come up at various times during the last month, and I had thought about writing about it, but never gotten around to it. Finally. Here we go.

One month ago we had the high school youth group retreat for our church, and Rocky and I went along. We had a great time hanging out with the students, and we led the music. We introduced this song to them, and they seemed to like it.

Over the weekend, and the next week or two, my thoughts about this song focused on an angle that might not be what you first think of when you hear it or read the words. Usually I think of this song as being an encouragement during rough times; that God will never let me go when I’m hurting. But as the chorus points out, He is there through the calm and through the storm, in every high and every low. He is with me during the good times in my life too. That is something that I don’t think of very often. It’s easy to call on God when we need help, when we need something from Him. But what about the good times in life? Do we realize that He is there too, holding us up?

Two weeks later (two weeks ago), we also sang this song at the middle school youth group retreat. At that point I started focusing more on the “lows” as I came down with a cold the first night we were there. My voice sounded horrible and my nose was stuffy. For the next week I would wake up in the morning and my throat would hurt so much. Yet this song kept playing… There will be an end to these troubles… Lord You never let go of me. I am still sick. I’m on my way to recovery, but it’s been a slow process. He’s still there with me. He will never let me go.

And Saturday night came the true test of my faith. I got a phone call that my mom was on her way to the hospital. She had had a blood clot in her leg earlier in the week, and had been on blood thinner, and Saturday evening her coworkers at the post office found her passed out on the floor. They were taking her to the hospital in Grand Rapids to run some tests and do a cat scan to see if the clot had moved. I had never felt so scared in my life. I was freezing cold and shaking, trying to pray that God’s will would be done.

That was the last I heard until Rocky and I were half way there, and while we were praying aloud in the car, she called from her hospital phone. Immediately I felt warmer and more at peace. In her typical fashion she said she was fine and we didn’t need to come, but we did anyway. One of her coworkers also came with my brother.

We sat with her in her little space in the ER for a few hours while they did some blood work. There was a snow storm coming and she kept insisting we leave so we could get home ok, but we stayed a little longer. Finally they told us the results of the blood tests were fine and normal, and all they needed to do was a cat scan of her chest. Rocky and I left around midnight, in much better spirits than when we’d gotten there.

Just after we got home mom called, and the cat scan showed the clot had gotten into her lung, so they were officially going to admit her to the hospital. So once more I was filled with incredible fear. I don’t understand blood clots and what they do or how they are fixed. We went to bed praying for peace and rest and healing. Whom then shall I fear? Whom then shall I fear? I think the cough medicine helped knock me out.

We went to church and I tried getting a hold of her to find out how things were going, but left a message on her phone. Being exhausted and sick, Rocky and I went to take a nap. Less than an hour later my phone rang and it was my mom with great news. She was still going to be there for a few days while the doctors worked on getting it to dissolve, but we had a lot to be thankful for. She could have had major damage to her heart when the clot passed through, and it could have made her lung collapse, and she could have even been gone already. But she’s fine. There was no damage to her heart at all, and the doctors were very positive that things would dissolve and she would heal well. Still I will praise You! Still I will praise You! Rocky and I slept for 4 more hours.

I got word today (Tuesday) that she was coming home tonight. Please continue to pray for my mom’s complete recovery. She also had no medical insurance.

God is good. He is holding on to me (and my mom!) in every high and every low, and will never let go. What a great reason to praise Him.

1 comment:

Laleh said...

You write very well.

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